02
Jul
10

BP – “Beyond Persecution”

I normally start my entries with a rant about whatever, but I want you to be as pissed as I am at BP, so I’m going to start with some photos. Also, the only people who visit my blog are coming for the photos (yes I’m referring to those of you who are google imaging “sandlot squintz” and “banksy west bank”).

Let ‘er rip!

I say we tar and feather Tony Hayward ASAP, see he how likes that combo

The Louisiana Coast; March 2010's Most Vibrant, Beautiful and Ecological Diverse Place

Grade A Jackass

Carl-Henric Svanberg is BP's Chairman and a Grade A Douche.

Fuck You Whale!!!!

This is what you get when you add a dying whale, BP oil, and the Gulf sun.

11 Deaths

The effects are not all environmental. Let's not forget the 11 workers who were killed in the explosion that was the result of BP's neglegence

I Just Want My Life Back!

Yes, we all want our lives back, especially if those lives involve yachting. It's nice Tony Hayward has someplace to escape to unlike the wildlife of the coast or the already screwed over (and now even more screwed over) residents of the Gulf.

BP's First Human Victim

Wednesday morning, William Allen Krause, a boat captain BP had hired, shot himself in the head. Peace out Mr. Kruse. We'll get the fuckers.

I was reading a Facebook post that we shouldn’t be too angry, clearly BP and the US government are aware that there is a major problem in the gulf and it could spell out the beginning of the end for BP and put a big black mark on the Obama administration. They certainly want to fix things and we can’t expect Obama to put on a wet suit and get down to the leak.  Point taken.

Counterpoint – We also don’t expect Obama to grab an M-16 and get over to Afghanistan (well I do, but I can understand if you think that’s unreasonable).  However, I think we all agree that we expect the Obama Administration to take charge of situations. Hey Barack, you wanna know whose ass you gotta kick? I got some names, dog.

So in one quick summary sentence for anyone whose been hiking in the woods since April or a 1985 Marty McFly, here’s what happened. BP’s oil rig, Deepwater Horizon, exploded off the coast of Lousiana and killed 11 workers. The explosion let loose a leak of oil that has been estimated to have already released as many as 120 million gallons (that’s about 12 Exxon Valdezes). They can’t figure out how to plug the hole.

The messed up part is that BP has pretty much taken control of the situation, shared very little information, and won’t let anyone else intervene. The government seems to be alright with this. Bill Clinton is in favor of blowing the whole thing up unless BP’s engineers fix it. Hey Bill, just outta curiosity, are BP’s engineers the top engineers at fixing underwater oil leaks? Doesn’t look that way. Why are we letting these people continue to run the show down there? They’re not letting the press in and seem to be blocking all sorts of content (it took me about 30 minutes to find that picture of the whale, even though there are about 70 stories on it, a bunch with fake pictures of said whale).  And Barack Obama wants to know whose ass he has to kick.

Meanwhile, at the BP executives just want their lives back. Their yacht filled lives where they have affairs and vacations. Carl-Henric Svanberg (the douche in the photo) let us know that BP cares about “the little people”. Basically, the mentality of BP is “we’re working very hard, but not too hard. We care about the people, but not too much to consider them equals. We respect the government and press, just not enough to involve them”. Meanwhile, the government is thinking “Man! I hope they fix that soon!”

I like Bill Clinton’s #4 suggestion. Basically he said, since we’re going to leave it up to BP at plug the leak, stop it from reaching the shores, and clean up the spill, we need to figure out who screwed up. That’s our job.

I want ALL the information regarding this explosion, leak, spill, everything.  Everything BP knows, we have to know. They’re sending internal memos regarding how much oil is leaking? No fucking way. We’re treating these people like some sort of higher authority than the US government when they’re the ones who messed up.

Here’s the kicker. Here’s how awesome the government is at doing stuff. Remember all that crazy stuff going on in

Onshore Drilling

This is what BP considers onshore drilling. It is 3 miles off the coast of Alaska. Even if you're pro-offshore drilling, you have to admit this is deceitful, sketchy, and illegal

previous years about drilling in Alaska (remember that idiot woman bouncing around saying “Drill Baby Drill”). We weren’t going to do that. That was a bad idea. In retrospect, given the current situation, that’s an especially bad idea. Hey government, what do you think? Yep! Do it! Also, the only one that’s allowed to drill there will be BP. They’re great with fragile, pristine environments. Offshore drilling of course has been temparorily banned until the public forgets about the oil spill, but BP built an island 3 miles off the coast of Alaska. That constitutes “onshore drilling”.  In regards to the environmental safety, the NYTimes reports: ”

BP has defended the project in its proposal, saying it is safe and environmentally friendly. It declined to respond to requests for further comment.”

Has everyone lost their fucking minds????? We’re going to let BP, the company that is directly responsible for the ongoing and worst environmental disaster in US history, drill a well, that should be illegal, in the pristine Alaska?

I give the shit up. This is more ridiculous that letting a horse judge run FEMA or the Vice President shooting someone in the face. You win Obama. You win sir.

Here are additional minor things that worry me.

1) The chance (and high probability) that the oil will hit the Loop Current in the Gulf, which spits it out into the Gulf Stream. The Gulf Stream goes all the way up the east coast, and very quickly. We could be looking at an oily winter in NYC!

2) There’s no promises that the relief wells (the two wells should  be done by mid-August) will work. It’s very probable that they will, but that’s the same story as every other plan BP has. Who knows. What’s the long-term plan? This article mentions that we’ll use an existing platform. Is that really the best idea? Maybe, but I think we need more open information to know for sure. Slick Willy says we should blow the holes up so a “bunch of rocks and stuff fall on top of the hole; plugging it up”. Right…..

3) Oilcanes! Take 1 part crude oil, mix with one class 3-4-5 hurricane and you have an oilcane. Basically a hurricane that contains bits of oil and chemical dispersant. Fun! I don’t think we’ve ever seen an oilcane, so who knows what will happen. Fields covered in oil (that’ll be fun to see once some lightning strikes and those oil drenched towns are lit up.) Talk about making an entire area inhabitable. This season is gearing up to be a big hurricane season and we have an always growing oil spill. Trouble brewing.

In short, I can’t believe that this situation is now on Day 73 and we’re still letting BP, who caused this mess run the

Badass City

This is Eisenhower preparing troops for D-Day. You can consider him a "community organizer"

show. It’s embarrassing. Barack, you couldn’t kick Malia’s ass. We elected you to lead us through what we knew were going to be some troubled times and you can’t even handle BP. What happens when Iran starts throwing it’s weight around? Step up to the plate, kick these assholes out of the area, and get some stuff done. What would Eisenhower do? What would Washington do? Certainly not stand around and hope that some foreign company is going to have our interests in mind. It’s absurd to think that would be the case, especially given the past 73 days. Then to let them drill in Alaska just really begs the question as to where our priorities are. Please, please, please do something.

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2 Responses to “BP – “Beyond Persecution””


  1. July 14, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Thanks for this research and these clear explanations.

    • July 14, 2010 at 6:16 pm

      Thanks….I hope they’re clear, even if they’re really bias. Oh well! You have a cool blog too. I’m very interested in green energy in NYC. What’s on the horizon in terms of that?


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